Saturday, December 22, 2007

Quote

This sounds like a good philosophy:

I get up every morning determined to both change the world and have
one hell of a good time. Sometimes this makes planning my day difficult.
- E. B. White

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Your Insecurities Are Showing

I come from a long line of "misfits" from both sides of my parents. I have never felt like I belonged in most situations. This is due to my upbringing, my mental processes, my physical build, my religious beliefs, my situation in life, and the choices I have made up until now. I learned at a young age to be strong inside and not to let anyone know when I was hurt by thier actions. It was better/easier to act as if it mattered not in the least. And it left my pride in tact to some degree. Anyway, as I grew up, I became very cautious about becoming attached to any one person (excluding my mother and siblings, and even they were kept to a distance). Now, in my old age, I have very few people I trust. It took me years to trust my husband. Friends, over the years have come and gone. My family always said "you can choose your friends but you can't choose your family." Most of the friends I chose were not really friends but they did tolerate me so I guess in a way their were friends. I have no contact with any of my childhood/teen friends now even though some of them live here. I have no contact with people I thought were friends when I moved away from here after high school. I have no contact with friends I have had in the years I have lived here again. I replaced all the people who might of been friends with my family members. Now I have no contact with any of them, and not many are left anyway. I know that to have a friend you have to be a friend and that is the problem. i want to do what I want to do when I want to do it, and not have to defer to other peoples wishes. So, what this is leading up to is the company Xmas party. i am hating to go. I don't feel comfortable around a bunch of people that I don't really know. I should be happy to support my husband and he has to go, (he says) but I am resentful of this intrusion on my personal wants. I am usually torn between feeling picked on because I have to give up my time for his needs and feeling quilty for being selfish about my time. All this stuff gives me a headache. Guess i'll go excape into my world of art!

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Old Dogs

Teeny left us last Monday. We miss her. Rosa now is showing signs that she may have to go too. She is having such a hard time breathing. She just works so hard at that. She can't jump up to sit by us either. Bubba is blind and sleeps all the time. He does not seem to be in pain as the girls did/do. I don't know how long they will last. The cold, cold winter is very hard on them.

Sunday, December 9, 2007

Snow Snow Snow

We have lots of snow and we love it. i built a snowman on the deck but I guess the wind blew him over during the night. I would go out and put him up again but the wind is still blowing and I hate going out in a wind. I do need to clean out a path to the door tho so guess i will have to go out long enough to do that.

I have one more week of work and then I will be off until the first of the year. We are hoping to go south for a week or so to enjoy warmer weather.

On the down side, our oldest dog Teeny is not doing well this winter. She just this week has stopped eating and is losing weight. I can't tell if she is in pain but I think she is. We are heartbroken for her and for us. She has been a faithful friend and companion for many years, we think about 14 years.

My creative surge has died. Or maybe I should say resting. I go through streaks, and right now I am not creating. I have to design a tea box and I have been playing with it mentally but not doing anything yet. I have started some paste papers to use for it but, they don't thrill me, yet. Today, I will add another layer to them to see if they look better. Coming up with an idea is the hardest part to things like this. I decided I want to build a box that will hold a collection of tins I have. I want them to look altered, so have to do that somehow. They are all different sizes so that will be the challenge for building the box. I do have a plan B box if that doesnt work out. Getting started is the hard part I guess.